The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow has traveled the planet in a quest to dilute the wisdom teachings of ancient cultures so they are safe enough for common men and women everywhere, men and women like you, to purchase and misuse.
His mystic training began at the age of four when he was accidentally left behind in the jungle while on a family vacation. Through a series of unlikely events he was eventually adopted by the local natives and trained to be a tribal shaman. After many years, Jr. Shaman Holmesnow left the familiarity and safety of the jungle to search for his family.
When he did not find them he climbed a mountain and was nearly killed in the process. The local mystic monks from the ancient monastery found him and nursed him back to health. This near death experience led him to conclude that there was more to life than what he learned from his shaman jungle training. He then began to immerse himself in the ancient mystical practices of the mountain monks. After many years he mastered them and returned to civilization. Forever changed, eternally superior.
Several weeks later he was no longer Jr. Shaman Brother Hugo Holmesnow, son of incompetent parents. He was and is now The Rev. Dr. Holmesnow, certified life coach and inventor of the “You Are Your Fault System Of Self Improvment”. This system provides proven methods and techniques that are part of an overall method which contains the strategies that you need to excel, advance, achieve, attain, reach and conquer your dreams, goals, fears, hopes and desires.
In addition to creating a system of self-improvement, Holmesnow is the author of “What is Wrong With You? An Introduction to What is Wrong With You” and “Conquer Your Dreams: Defeat Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals”. Both are available now at Amazon in paperback and e-book, several email courses, a podcast, many memes and this very website.
Click to return to where you came. Or perhaps you do not want to return to where you came just yet. Maybe you need to know more about me, perhaps you have questions. I would certainly have questions about all of this by now if I were you. Luckily for you, I have anticipated you need to not only ask questions but to answer them as well. I now present you with an F.A.Q:
Why are you a life coach?
There is simply no way for me not to be a life coach. My only other viable career path is super villain. It would be unfair of me to take advantage of my impressive insight and abilities for anything other than selling you evolutionary aids. This is part of my shamanic-monastic oath.
How are you better than other life coaches?
Some life coaches study with jungle shamans, some live among monks, others still spend weeks gaining online certifications and life experience doctorate ordinations. I am the only life coach to have done all three of these things.
Why would you trust a life coach who only studied with jungle shamans or only studied with mountain monks or just trained to be a life coach online?
Aren’t your problems the kind that deserve to be solved by someone who knows what they are doing?
Can I schedule a personal coaching session?
You must. To do so simply email me and I will reply.
I’m not sure what is wrong with me. Can you help?
I may be able to help. My book What Is Wrong With You? An Introduction to What is Wrong with You addresses the very issue that you are concerned about.
Why are your seminars always held in bad neighborhoods?
They are not bad neighborhoods. They are in the process of being gentrified. The reason my seminars are often held in neighborhoods that are in the process of being gentrified is that the hotels in those areas tend to allow you rent the room by the hour. Many hotels insist you rent the room for the entire night. Since the seminars only last a few hours I am able to keep the admission fee affordable by only paying for what I need.
How many books have you written?
I have written two books so far. The first book “What is Wrong With you? An Introduction to What is Wrong With You.” is the classic, go-to book for changing your life. My second book, “Conquer Your Dreams: How to Defeat Your Dreams and Attain Your Goals” is available when you decide rea dit as well. Many more books will appear to fill the void in your life. I do more than just write books, I’ll have you know. I also create memes and pen mini-courses of wisdom, among other things. You can find all of this free content on my blog. I suggest you do. It is recommended for you to do so. All recommendations should be followed without question for best results. The choice to remain as you are is always yours to make, so it is up to you, as it always is.
Some Of The Things You Can Do Here…
Learn About Why You Should Purchase My Books, And then Purchase Them.
Absorb The Wisdom Contained In My Blog.
Don’t cry because it happened, cry because it is your fault.